Bad blogging, Christmas in retail and Tom Waits

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JON STEWART!!!!

According to the man himself, his 44th birthday was today and he got to celebrate by having Tom Waits as a guest on the show. Tom is now, I believe, only the second musical act to perform on The Daily Show. Jon called it "my moment of zen." Mr. Waits was a part of a recent discussion in our weekly manager meeting. Our music manager was talking about best selling cd's and mentioned that the newly released Tom Waits boxset had sold 6 copies. This number may not sound large to you but consider that we are talking Peoria here, plus our pricing sucks so these things aren't cheap. Woo hoo Tom!!! The music snob part of my personality enjoyed the fact that our store manager had no idea who Tom Waits was. He failed to recognize Snow Patrol as well. Though, this is the person who referred to Nine Inch Nails as "nin" when the last album came out.

Bill O'Reilly has apparently decided that people in retail have been told they can't say "Merry Christmas" to customers again this year. He's been on this kick for a couple of years now. It's good to know there is nothing of more import to discuss. I recently read a transcript of his Nov. 9 show where he brought up the topic, and while he claims some retail stores have specifically told their employees what to say, he doesn't mention said stores. Could it be perhaps because he's making this shit up? He seems to be claiming that the religious significance of the holiday is being forced out of the retail arena. Seriously, Bill, if you're looking for religious significance in the same place you can buy a corn dog and motor oil you need to go to church more often.

Back in the 17th century when the Puritans had control of England, Christmas was banned for being either pagan or Roman Catholic (how's that for covering your bases!). Christmas as it relates to Christ has nothing to do really with gift giving. Sure, the 3 wisemen kicked in a little somethin' somethin' for the new baby, but I doubt they would have connected celebrating the birth of the son of God with a Victoria's Secret gift certificate.

The original Father Christmas didn't bring gifts to kids. His roots are in Paganism via the Anglo Saxons in the mid-5th century AD. Santa Claus is a mispronounciation of the Dutch, Sinterklaas. Sinterklaas is a form of Saint Nicholas who was a bishop from Myra ( a decent part of modern day Turkey) who used up his inheritance to help the needy. St. Nicholas feast day is Dec. 6 and is set up to honor secret charity. St. Nick inspired the myth of Sinterklaas which inspired the myth of Santa Claus. In the original myth, Santa lives in freakin' Spain!!!

There's nothing wrong with giving at this time of the year, especially if you are able to give to those less fortunate (whether it be your time or your money). Giving of yourself is really what the season should be about, not whether or not the poorly paid 18 year old clerk at the Gap wishes you a Merry Christmas.

Couple quick things:

I saw a transcript of the 2nd meeting between David Letterman and Bill O'Reilly during which Letterman said he'd seen Bill's new book "Culture Warrior" and thought it was about sailing. This comment is funny if you've seen the cover. Go over to Amazon and check it out as I refuse to put a picture of it here. Atleast this is a better look than the "gay Garth Brooks" shirt he had on a couple of covers ago.

Last week this quote was featured in the "Presidental (Mis)Speak" calendar we have in receiving.

"We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their--their love with women all across this country."

Remember ladies, be sure and "practice your love" on a regular basis. Bush almost makes pap smears sound romantic.

WATCH ME:

The Fountain (in theaters now) This blog is getting too long so I'll just say Hugh Jackman rocks and this is a beautiful movie to watch.

LISTEN TO ME:

PJ Harvey--The Peel Sessions Covers roughly '91-'04-ish. The versions of "Victory" and "Sheela Na Gig" are fabulous on here.

Sorry I've been lax with writing. I've been watching a bunch of movies (damn you Netflix addiction!!) and trying to catch up with things I taped months ago. Thanks a bunch if you've been checking in on me.

Thanks and such

Here's what I'm thankful for (not in order after #1):
1) Family and friends
2) Mom's cooking
3) Radiohead
4) Jon Stewart
5) Jane Austen
6) Basketball
7) Being fairly healthy...nothing's shut down yet...knock on wood
8) Hugs from my nephew
9) BBC America
10) the patience of my family and friends--I know I can be a challenge sometimes.

One quick dumb quote: On last Sunday's Amazing Race, one of the blondes said roughly the following. "Chernobyl...that's where the atomic bomb went off..."


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

See Bond. See Bond Run. Run Bond Run.

Daniel Craig runs alot in the new Bond movie. Luckily, he does not move like a duck when he does so. Even better, I can happily report that I really enjoyed Casino Royale. The story moves along nicely minus a bit of drag towards the 2/3's mark. Craig's Bond is funny, self depricating sometimes, and full of spot on English charm with just the right touch of ego. The more realistic action set pieces hold up nicely in this age of CGI. Granted, there are a couple of times where you could spot the stunt double, but overall Craig's stuntwork stands up to scrutiny. His is a grittier and dirtier Bond. The first of two kills he must do to achieve "double O" status is messy and devoid of the slickness one usually expects. He's got it down by the 2nd one though.

The first major action piece is very impressive. If you've ever seen any of the ads on tv that feature what I believe is called "free running," then you'll know what to expect. It was amazing to watch the baddie jumping, climbing and moving like a younger Jackie Chan on speed. The script stumbles a couple of times. There was a moment between Bond and his love interest, Vesper ( all I can think of when I hear that name is a Vespa scooter), in which I almost laughed out loud at the less than stellar phrase that came out of her mouth. Still, she is not quite your traditional Bond chick and most of the verbal sparring is done well.

As I mentioned before, a lot of the now almost artifical slickness has been stripped away and there is some genuine emotion on screen. There are still plenty of guns and explosions and fighting so don't worry. I really enjoyed the scene after a fight in a stairwell, in addition to the scene where Bond has been poisioned and he must excuse himself from the poker game in order to stop his death. The gadgets are kept to a minimum, but the few that do get used are pretty cool and make sense in the grand scheme of things.

Straight women and gay men may rejoice!!! Most of the nudity involves Daniel Craig, a nice change of pace from the norm. Don't worry straight boys, you'll get plenty of cleavage. But seriously, I lost count of the number of times Craig has no shirt on or is (deliciously) wet, which is almost as good as being naked. OH, and the torture scene involves a completely naked Bond, but sadly we do not get the "full monty."

The only complaints I would have would involve the less than exciting title sequence, the rather bland theme song, and a dud line here or there. Overall, I would definitely recommend seeing Casino Royale...let's just hope you don't have a woman in your theater that exclaimed rather loud "oh's" at every major plot point/twist. Errrggghhh. I need my own theater dammitt.

On another note, today we had our Holiday Meeting at work. Everyone had to be there at 6:45 A-Freakin'-M. I have now been to 10 of these things and they have always sucked. Sadly, this year we did not have the usual video to watch. Over the years, the videos have been everything from full out dull to ones with "plots" featuring the best of Jersey dinner theater...or worst, actual employees. Instead, we played a "game." We broke off into smaller groups and the managers were given a set of questions to ask our groups. Get an answer right you got a point.

I got my sheet this morning so I can happily report I had no idea what I was doing. One of my "questions" was the directive to have someone in the group gift wrap a book. I was supposed to judge the results and give points on how good it looked and how quickly it was wrapped. I skipped that one. The best bit was corporate flat out told us we wouldn't get through the whole set of questions. This begs the question: Why not make the damn thing shorter? Also, we in no way tallyed the points and no one got anything for their efforts. I'm hard pressed to think of something more pointless.

Wait, I got it. THE REST OF THE MEETING!!! Moving like cattle to the abattoir, we went from one section to another to get 2-3 minutes of important info that would be promptly forgotten. Then we had 20 or so minutes of more important facts (employee appreciation dates, where to park, etc.), but by then the heckling had begun. I know this because I sat amongst "the people" (in the back, just like a senior in high school) and not up front with the managers. My heckle? Not so much a heckle as an attempt at humor. I asked if one of the groups having a bookfair was like the Freemasons and were in control of the world.

Finally, we got to the service awards portion of the morning. Now, I saw an memo/agenda type thingie stating that everyone who was getting a pin was to be interviewed and asked for comments about why they enjoyed their job, etc. Not surprisingly, no one talked to me. Because we were pressed for time, it was a bit of a rush job. One manager took care of the 5 year awards, tossing out mostly just comments on what sections of the store each person had worked in. Then we get to the 10 year award and I had to haul ass up to the front of the group.

I had told Jinn (fellow receiver for those keeping track at home) I guessed the store manager would mention the number of boxes I'd received or the number of books I'd touched over the years. He's a numbers guy, not a people person. I was right. After listing the various and numerous places I'd worked in the store, he rattles off some numbers (apparently I've lifted, along with my comrades, 6 million lbs of books or something) then gives me my crappy pin.

The thing was, if he would have asked me for stories, I could have given him a couple. I could have talked about going to a fancy dinner in Chicago the first year we hit a major sales goal and because I was sick I barely ate anything, slept the whole way up and back and couldn't tell you much about the restaurant, but plenty about the bathroom.

I could have talked about the time, back when the employees had to clean the whole store, I was the only chick manager here and had to take care of a stuck piece of poo in the women's restroom the size of my foot. I'm talkin' size 9's here people.

I could have talked about the time myself, an ASM named Jim and the bargain manager Terry, closed the store without counting the drawers so we could go to a midnight showing of a new Jackie Chan movie. We came back around 2am and finished our closing responsiblities and listened to music while counting drawers.

I could have talked about being Winnie The Pooh the first summer we were open. I could've talked about the games we play in receiving when we get bored. I could have talked about paging for a doctor when someone in the parking lot was having a seizure.

Nope. Instead, we get numbers. Sad, I think.

WATCH IT:

Casino Royale--see above

HEAR IT:

R.E.M.--Driver 8 Paul sent me a link to a Slate article comparing R.E.M. and U2 and I had to pull out Fables Of The Reconstruction, my absolute fave R.E.M. cd. Comments coming soon Paul!

Speaking of Paul, only 51 years, 3 months and 2 days till the wedding. Start planning now!

YOU MUST SEE THIS MOVIE

So, I made this picture a bit small. It's Will Ferrell playing guitar in Stranger Than Fiction...just to clarify.

I think I may have just seen the movie of the year in my opinion. Granted, I am waiting for The Fountain which may the big winner. Still, I absolutely loved this film. I don't want to tell you all too much because part of the greatness of the movie is going through it with Will's character, Harold Crick.

I can tell you the following:

Will F. completely pulls this off! I didn't get around to seeing the movie he did with Woody Allen so I'm not sure what he did with his part there. But, much like I was surprised by Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love, I was rewarded here with Mr. Ferrell's performance. I found myself identifying with Harold to an almost frightening extent. In alot of ways, Harold is the straight man in his life story and Will's performance made me cry a couple of times.

Maggie G. rocks the house as always. Emma is a goddess whom I would gladly pay to read the phone book to me with any comments she'd like to inject. The script was amazing and the music was some of the best I've heard all year. The two guys responsible are one of the dudes from the band Spoon and the man behind the soundtracks for Lost In Translation, Marie Antoinette, and Thumbsucker. And finally, the direction was spot on. I'd just seen the movie Stay, which I believe was directed by the same guy. Visually, Stay was really interesting and it seemed as though the director took some of the lessons learned from that film and fleshed them out here.

Seriously, GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

WATCH IT:

Prime Suspect 7 on PBS--Helen Mirren's swan song for one of the best female characters ever created for TV.

LISTEN TO IT:

Spoon--The Book I Write--written for the Stranger Than Fiction soundtrack...just a great pop/rock song that captured the feel of the movie.

A Little Something For The Ladies...to get us started

I'd like to personally thank the casting director and anyone else resonsible for picking Daniel Craig as the new Bond. The only Bond flick I've ever seen in the theater was A View To A Kill and it was because Duran Duran did the theme song that year. Amazing how I can be easily swayed sometimes. The trailer for the new Bond movie almost had me stroking out over the following image. Enough of the chicks in bikinis...although I'm sure there will be a few of those...I want to see this guy come walking up out of the ocean on a 40ft. screen, preferrably in DLP. Not just eye candy, you should check out Mr. Craig in Layer Cake if you need convincing he can do Bond justice. I need just a moment.

Ok, I'm good now. Listening to Portishead, still waiting for the new cd sadly.

Just a couple of things to chat about tonight/early morning.

First, I was updating my queue on Netflix and saw that the number of movies/tv shows I've rated is currently 1,831. Everything from Meatballs to a French documentary on the Holocaust. And I'm still single...hmmm...perplexes me too.

On a not so light note:

I was mean to someone on Friday. Or rather, I had replied meanly to something he said. The guy who brings us our main book shipment is a pretty decent guy most of the time. I feel fairly safe in saying I think if either Jinn or I needed help he would be there in whatever way was possible. That being said, he has the complete polar opposite political view of myself (and Jinn for the most part as well, but I won't speak for her). He is a fairly hard-core conservative Republican. Me, well I think most of you know I'm liberal and if they aren't acting like a bunch of wankers, a Democrat. Our driver knows this and usually brings up things he hears on Rush's show or sees on Fox to try and spur a comment from us.

Usually the banter is pretty good natured. I certainly don't approve of everything the Dems have ever done so it's not too hard to poke fun at them along with the Republicans. Every once in awhile though, we touch on something that rubs me the wrong way. I'm still not sure what our driver meant by the comment he made, but my reply was mean spirited. I couldn't tell if what I said bothered him. Still, I felt bad about it. But I didn't apologize because I was unclear on what he meant by what he said. If he meant what I thought he meant, then I think I was within my "rights" to call him on it. If I'm wrong, then I guess I'm a confusing witch.

It's really difficult to reconcile liking someone and thinking they are a good person with the fact that you disagree with their political outlook. A person's perspective on politics is part of who they are and it can get tough to seperate the two. It's one thing to ignore a friend's love of let's say, the Dave Matthew's Band (which I can do as long as I can refer to the band as the Dead Lite for sorority girls). It's another to like someone, but hope that they never have the power to make political decisions.

Also, trying to juggle a liberal outlook while not going overboard on the PC stuff while also not letting someone's bigoted opionion go unchecked is no easy task. I firmly believe everyone has a right to their opionion. Liberals, Nazis, Dave Matthews, all of us. The problem then arises when it all turns from discussion to noise. I could never do what Jon Stewart does. I would be so angry with some of the guests I wouldn't be able to speak.

I should just say Jon's name and count to ten the next time I feel the need to respond. Not only to get the facts straight, but to be less mean on my end.

Hmmm...and I'm still single...shocker.

Doing Sexy Time...

WARNING: If you are planning to go see Borat and you DON'T want to know anything about the movie, you should probably not read tonight's blog entry.

Now, for the rest of you...

It's now been a couple of hours since I saw the movie and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. The gist of the picture is as follows. Sacha Baron Cohen (sp?) created a character called "Borat" as a part of his British (seen on HBO in the states) comedy Da Ali G Show. Not too unlike what several SNL alums have done, the character has moved on to his own full length movie. Borat is a journalist from Kazakstan (sp?) who comes to the US to learn our "modern" ways in order to share them with the people of his country. He ends up spending most of the "documentary" making his way toward California and Pam Anderson, whom he has fallen in love with after watching Baywatch in his hotel room...oh, and after his wife dies in a bizarre accident back home.

A decent amount of the humor stems from Borat's cultural differences and complete clueless-ness about the United States. There is the usual "can't speak the language" gags. (An example being the title of tonight's blog which is what Borat says when he refers to sex.) What's interesting to see is how he uses this "language barrier" to create situations which allow some of the people he meets to crucifiy themselves with their own words. His innocent behavior opens a few doors.

Several of these moments are quite funny. He goes to a rodeo and just nods as an old guy tells him he should shave his mustache because it makes him look like a Muslim. The man keeps talking and eventually makes the comment that, in not so many words, gay men should be hung. It's a bizarre conversation. Later at the rodeo, Borat is set to sing the National Anthem. Before he does, he gets the crowd going by rattling off phrases in support of the war in Iraq. The crowd is hooting and hollering, but he takes it that extra step and declares that George Bush should be drinking the blood of those evil people in Iraq. The crowd is slightly less enthusiastic because they are slowing catching on to the obvious. We are a blood thirsty country, yet we often blanket our behavior in patriotic garb. It's a smack in the face which is only compounded when he decides to sing the Kazakstani national anthem to the tune of our anthem.

The lyrics revolve around Kazakstan being the best country in the world...and oddly, the best producer of potassium. The crowd boos, and in a moment that I'm not convinced wasn't set up, the woman who had ridden out on a horse holding the American flag suddenly appears behind him and her horse falls to the ground with her still on it.

I spent a good deal of this movie with my hands over my eyes, peering through my fingers. Remember, I am the person who enjoys the sight of a werewolf snacking on someone's entrails. Some of the bits are uncomfortable to watch, or atleast they were for me. Strangely, I made it through the soon to be infamous naked men fighting moment in the movie without looking away. Part of the gag is just how big the bar being used to cover Borat's bits was. Seriously, that man should be doing porn if it's that big.

There are a couple moments of what seemed like genuine connection in the film. Borat and his producer are driving in Atlanta trying to get directions to California. It's late at night and they are in an area of Atlanta that is set up as being not the nicest place in town. Coming up on a group of young black men shooting dice, Borat goes up to them and starts chatting. He eventually gets them to teach him to dress and talk "street." This encounter has hillarious results when he then tries to get a room at a hotel using his new language. The guys appeared to find Borat amusing and treated him like a lost child. Nice moment.

The second connection comes in the form of a prostitute Borat hires and then invites to an upper crust dinner party he is attending. He and his date get tossed out of the party then decide to go out on the town. They end up in a cowboy bar and procede to have a few drinks, ride the mechanical bull, and dance. At the end of the evening, he drives the woman back to her place and she invites him inside.

Now, Cohen is engaged to be married so obviously nothing is going to happen here. But the moment is really sweet. Borat becomes shy and tells her he is in love with a woman in Malibu (Pam A.) and it wouldn't be right for him to do anything right now. She tells him if he's ever in town to come check in on her. He smiles and says if he's ever back he would be happy to return and pay her for sex. She laughs and for a second you wonder if he'll even kiss her, but instead he gives her another shy smile and slowly makes his way off the porch.

The only downside of this moment comes at the end of the film. I won't give it away, but the ending made me question how much this woman was in on the joke as it were. I'm hoping she wasn't in on it. Or atleast, she wasn't when they went out on the town.

The only problems I had with the film were it's length. It's usually a stretch to take a character from a short skit on a tv show into a movie and I think there were a few moments in the movie that could have been cut because they don't really move the story forward or provide many laughs. It's as if they needed to toss in a few more bits to make a longer film.

The other problem stems from my own little self. I was never good at the crank call sort of thing. Any sort of comedy that revolves around pretending to be something you're not to create laughs at someone else's expense. I always felt too guilty to do a solid crank call. There are people in this movie that trap themselves with their own words and behavior. But, there are a few people who get caught who don't really seem to deserve it.

I will give Cohen big props for staying in character. There are two key moments when doing so put him in physical danger, but he sticks it out. Again, it's hard to tell how many people were in on the joke from the beginning. The moments with Pam at the end seemed somewhat real, but I read an article tonight where Cohen, as Borat, interrupted a "dog wedding" that Pam was having in Aug. of 2005. I'm not sure which moment happened first and whether or not she was in on either or them.

Ultimately, I'd say the movie is worth checking out. The laughs are there, but so are the uncomfortable moments. I don't think this is the funniest movie I've ever seen. I believe the South Park movie and Team America: World Police provided more laughs with the same sort of edge.

On the upside, I got to see a smack your head funny trailer for the Reno 911 movie that's coming out in Feb. And, I must admit, I am very excited about the new Bond movie as well.

Till next time. GO VOTE TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!

The 3rd and 4th horsemen have arrived...

Steve Nash got his hair cut. No longer looking like that guy who hangs out in front of the local gas station waiting for the high school girls to pass him as they buy a couple of Cokes and a Snickers bar, Steve has used a couple of his million bucks plus salary to take a trip to a Quick Cuts. I think it is an improvement, still I also think it is yet another sign of the "endtimes."

The 4th horseman? Well, let me just say this...they said they put a frickin' pacemaker in Sawyer's chest and then they shook a cage till the bunny inside passed out. FRAK YOU, LOST!!!! This week? It seemed like it was going to be slightly more sane except for the fact that Sayid is back and no one seems to wonder about how things went on the boat...you know the ONLY FRAKKIN' BOAT THEY HAD!!!! Hmmm...we're on an island, perhaps a boat would be useful. Oops. Plus, where the hell are Sun and Jin? Did they take a sidetrip to a spa or something? A little miniature golf? ARRRGHHH!!!! Plus, they went to the trouble of bringing in "reality" by showing Jack that the Red Sox won a World Series and this week we get the crazy ass black smoke monster thing that tosses Eko (sp?) around like he's a Malibu Barbie with a deathwish.

Elections can't come soon enough for me. As if the phone calls and mail weren't bad enough, today at work we got a fixture delivered to the store. The driver, after I sign the paperwork, takes the time to show me an article about how our governor wants to help immigrants get home loans and apparently this would include illegal immigrants. As he put it, "I don't think these people should get anything. They shouldn't be here. We need to get them out of the country. Blah, blah, blah." He wanted to know if I wanted a copy of the article to hand out, etc. Flippin' hell. Seriously, enough is enough. I politely told him thanks, but no and left it at that.

Along those lines, sort of, Jon Stewart is the man. Last night on The Daily Show he uttered the perfect phrase. "John Kerry...losing elections he's not even in." It's sad that everyone is in an uproar over what some dufus with not that much power in the party said in a lame attempt at a joke and the true issues are swept under the rug. Nothing like letting the opposing party hand you a media diversion practically gift wrapped.

Finally, I came up with a few more songs to add to my "timeless tunes" list from the last entry. Still hoping to get some feedback from you people.

Someone To Love--Queen
Welcome To The Jungle--GNR
With Or Without You--U2
Just Like Heaven--The Cure

OH! Two more quick things.

I am an idiot. I left my oven on for about 10 hours today. I made muffins for breakfast then didn't bother to turn off the oven. No wonder it was so warm in the kitchen when I came home tonight. DUH. I bet the heat didn't turn on once in my apartment today.

Nine Inch Nails will have a new album out sometime in April. I am very happy. They are also going on tour. Europe, etc. first starting in Feb. Hopefully they will be stateside come Spring/Summer.

READ IT:
David Sedaris--Holidays On Ice This is my lunchtime reading at work. It's very funny, but depressing because I wish I could be that funny.

WATCH IT:
Ugly Betty on ABC. I love America Ferraro (sp?). She was great in Real Women Have Curves and she really shines in this comedy. Although, it's a bit of a sad statement when someone who is cute like America has some braces added and her hair is a bit frumped up and she suddenly becomes "ugly."

HEAR IT:
Soundgarden--"Jesus Christ Pose" Caught this the other day on the radio and it made me remember grunge in all its flannel glory.

Timeless Music

The nominees for the '07 Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame induction ceremonies were just announced and (YEAH!) R.E.M. is on the list. The somewhat depressing bit comes when you remember that in order to make the list atleast 25 years has to have passed since they've released someting. Errgh. Hopefully the boys will make the final cut. Here's the rest of the nominees:
Van Halen
Chic
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
Patti Smith
Dave Clark 5
Ronettes
Joe Tex
The Stooges

To stay with the music theme of today's entry here's a list I've been working on over the past few days. It all started from the fact that almost everytime I hear a certain Stones song I will tell whomever is in the room that I believe the song sounds as fresh today as it did when it first came out. It is possible that my co-workers have heard me say this a few hundred times and I should be grateful that they haven't gagged me yet.

PACKED FOR FRESHNESS TO LAST FOREVER TUNES (in no particular order)

Jumpin' Jack Flash--The Stones
Back In Black--AC/DC
Cinnamon Girl--Neil Young
Your Song--Elton John
Communication Breakdown--the mighty Zep
Dreamin'--Blondie
Middle Of The Road--The Pretenders
The Real Me--The Who
Can't Get There From Here--R.E.M.
Wonderwall--Oasis

All of this tunes seem as relevant and thrilling today as the first time I heard them. They may not be the best songs from each artist, but I will turn up the radio/cd louder when I hear them. I'm curious as to what you all think. Like I mentioned, I came up with this list pretty much while driving to and from work and I'm sure I've missed tunes. Send me a comment with your additions.

Finally, a late "duh" moment from our President. About a week ago, I happened to catch the tailend of a press conference W was having. He was in the midst of taking questions and someone asked how this war compares to WW2. He said the following (I'm paraphrasing by the way)...WW2 was a "war against....(thinking, thinking...eyes begin to flutter...mommy, mommy, is it nap time?)...facists...(long pause)...a nation state...(pause)...two nation states...(pause)...three nation states!"

Do I hear four? Can someone give me four nation states for this lovely war? Going once, going twice...