It's SPACE MADNESS!!!

I flipped through a book the other day that taught you how to make things with office supplies. They had works of art, ways to decorate your cubical with plastic cups, and helpful suggestions on making work more interesting.

This morning I attempted to play a little game they called Office Meeting Bingo. I changed it to Manager Meeting Bingo.

I had planned to come up with a couple of different cards this weekend, but forgot due to nice weather and Kirk Hinrich sweating away in shorts (take that Shaq). I remembered it this morning so I hastily drew up a "card" on my legal pad. Had I not spoken or if someone would have talked about Dunkin' Donuts' coffee I so would have had BINGO.

Other spaces included the following:

sports metaphors

too much information

talking too long

Sparky tells his personal tailor story

"that's great"

lame sales lingo

I'm half asleep

I haven't decided if I'm going to dare share this with anyone during the meeting. Although, the ASM I was sitting next to seemed to find it amusing and was actually prompting me to mark a square when it was satisfied (as it were). Somehow I'm thinking I'll be back to the attitude issue if I pass this along to the rest of the class.

That's about it today other than my digital cable has been out for two days so thank goodness I'm paying about $70 a month for it. I can get the "extended basic" package channels just fine, but my beloved BBC America is awol. Crappily, Waking The Dead is on tonight and I'm going to have to miss it. Bastards! The channels have been squidgy for the last couple of weeks. I called to get it taken care of and the guy tells me there's a problem with the cable box. I told him I have this same problem every 3 or so months. So now, I'm not going to get a replacement box till Friday. They could have come on Wed., but seriously, who can be at home between 1-5pm these days? So now I'm getting up early for a 8-10am appointment. This of course means he'll show up at 10:15am and I'll get to glare at him to go faster so I can get to work. Lame I know, but annoying none the less.

Woo.

Action with a Homoerotic Subtext

Went and saw Hot Fuzz yesterday. It comes from the same team who brought us Shaun Of The Dead. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost star as two cops who work in a sleepy little village. Pegg just got transferred there for being too good at his job. His numbers were screwing over everyone else's in the Met.

Hot Fuzz tackles virtually every cliche in the cop/action movie genre. Two guys of differing styles forced to be partners--check. New guy is considered an outsider--check. Nothing exciting happens (at first)--check. Sexual humor via single gal in department--check. Over the top evil dude--check. Homoerotic subtext between the leads--whoo-ha! check. Multiple gun fights involving redemption and one-liners--check, check, and check.

I enjoyed Hot Fuzz, mostly because Pegg and Frost are buddies in real life and that transfers big time onto the screen. They also poke fun at the cliches with clever puns, gags and just pointing it out openly (like the moment when Frost asks Pegg if he said a clever one liner while taking out one of the baddies and Pegg says he didn't get the chance). It's a little slow going at first story-wise, but when we eventually find out what the baddies are really doing, it's quite a nice little trick. There are plenty of laughs and some pretty sweet action sequences at the end. The down side? There are 3 action sequences at the end. One after another and all are a bit similar. I think two would have been enough, but that just means it's a cool movie and not a super cool movie.

Was playing cards with some friends last night while the children were in the living room watching a movie. We could hear them talking, etc. and one of them says something along the lines of "what a dumb ass." Now, this is not something an 11 yr. old should be uttering--atleast not within earshot of his mother. She goes in to talk to him and I start laughing. I thought he'd said "Who's in my ass?" I told this to a friend at the table and we couldn't stop laughing for about 5 minutes.

GO BULLS!!!!

Look, it's a penis

You have to love a culture that tries to be helpful and point out the nearest brothel to visiting sailors. I took this picture at Pompeii. Our guide through the ruins got a serious giggle pointing this feature out to us.

A quick addition to the seemingly never ending saga of crap being chucked into our dumpsters. The other day Jinn found a perfectly good purse/bag that had been tossed into the cardboard dumpster. It looked like someone purchased a new one and got rid of the old. Have people not heard of Goodwill?

The U.S. trailer for Harry Potter is online and it's pretty sweet. I enjoyed seeing Voldy decked out in his black suit, black shirt and black tie. Monochrome looks good, whether you're evil or good. Dolores Umbridge's look and demeanor remind me of a co-worker that shall go un-named but I will give a hint--no one works the system better in regards to personal injury.

So, I over-analyzed Lost. The baby isn't Sawyer's. Perhaps I had one too many film studies classes during my college days. Was very surprised to see the weird eyepatch guy that we thought was dead come sprinting through the shrubbery. And, I very much enjoyed the new chick telling Hurley that flight 815 had been found and everyone was dead! My reaction was pretty much like his, but with more cussing.

I'm looking forward to seeing Hot Fuzz this weekend. It's the new flick from the guys behind Shaun Of The Dead (which is an absolute fave of mine). Much like Shaun paid tribute to and satirized zombie flicks, Hot Fuzz hits the same notes in regard to buddy cop action flicks--only with a very British slant. I may also check out The Invisible, but I think I'll go to rottentomatoes.com first and see what they say.

WATCH IT:

Finding Neverland--I can't believe it took this long for me to check this movie out. Friends of mine have praised it up and down, but I knew I would have to be in the right mood because I knew it would make me cry. I watched it last night, and I kid you not, I sobbed through the last 40 minutes of it. It is funny and beautiful and lyrical. Depp and Winslet really play well off each other (it would be nice to see them together again). It was directed by the same guy who did Stranger Than Fiction if I remember correctly.

LISTEN TO IT:

Arctic Monkeys--Teddy Picker---As I mentioned on my last post, I was picking this up this week. And, it did not disappoint. While still retaining all the things that make them great, the band is progressing as far as their songwriting, etc. There is still the British sort of youthful, somewhat drunken, exuberance, but it's been tempered and the songs are showing a little more depth than before. Perhaps some of this is the perspective of someone growing up. "Teddy Picker" is just a blast of a song. It's very infectious and I essentially dance to it in the car as I am driving.

READ IT:

Fair And Balanced My Ass!--written by the same guys who did the brilliant Sweet Jesus I Hate Bill O'Reilly, F & B takes a look at the Fox "News" Organization as a whole, in addition to looking at how the public views journalism today. I've only just started it, but I laugh out loud on a regular basis.

Static or Jesus

Today's title has nothing to do with anything. Laura mentioned it to me as a description given in regards to an area with crappy radio stations. I thought it was a perfect name for a band so I'm laying claim to it now.

Not much to report as I haven't done much besides work and listen to the new Nine Inch Nails cd for the past week. I will toss out a couple of quick bits though.

I think it was Friday of last week. I was in back with Jinn and we heard a loud thud outside the door. It was obvious someone had tossed an item into our dumpster. Jinn quickly opens the door and I got outside to see some "soccer-mom-esque" chick in her Abercrombie and Fitch pullover sweatshirt slamming the lid of her trunk down on her SUV-ish vehicle.

I asked her if she'd just tossed something in the dumpster. She said yes and asked if there was a problem. I explained to her (and I'm sure she already knew this) that the dumpsters belonged to us via the landlord and they were not for public use. She said, really?

No shit dumb ass. Gee, here these are behind a business, accessable by a service only road, blocked from the residents eyes by a big, fucking fence...of course they aren't freakin public!!! I HATE PEOPLE!!!

I peeked inside and she'd tossed a computer monitor (a fairly large one) in there. Thank the lord she'd chosen the regular trash dumpster and not the card board only one. Just last week, I was digging out paint cans and other painting supplies from that one because the guys won't pick it up if it has anything other than cardboard in it. I tried to make her feel guilty by explaining to her that there are dangerous chemicals in monitors and it was really irresponsible to toss them out like this to be put into a landfill. I told her that there was a place on Adams St. that recycled unwanted computer items (and other electronics) to donate to lower income families and groups in need. I wanted this bitch to atleast suffer a little before she smacked her ass back down on her heated leather seats and popped in Maroon 5.

The monitor took a hard hit and broke open a trash bag so there was no point going in after it, as much as I was tempted to tell her to do. The main reason I didn't was she could just turn right around and put it back in quietly after I locked the doors back up. I hope I made her feel a little guilty. I should have taken down her plate number just to make her nervous.

I have pulled out chairs, a front door to a house, the backseat to a truck, carpet and more from the dumpsters just so we can toss our own shit. About a month or so ago, someone left a queen size matress and boxspring leaning against our fence by the dumpters. Seriously, what the hell? I wouldn't even consider tossing crap into someone else's dumpster. Rude, rude, rude. I hope karma bit these people in the ass.

On a lighter note, saw the new international trailer for HP 5 (hence the photo). It was pretty sweet. The new American trailer comes out tomorrow online.

WATCH IT:

Fracture--An above average thriller with a great sense of humor and two solid performances from Sir Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling. I thought the psuedo romance could have been dropped as it was only there to set up two later scenes. It could have been done another way that wouldn't have seemed quite so pointless and predictable.

Planet Earth--This mini series documentary on Discovery is freakin' amazing. I got caught up on Sunday while doing laundry. The photography is astonishing and someone deserves big bucks for the score. The music perfectly fits the images slipping, flying, and swimming across the screen. It actually gave me hope to see that beauty continues to exsist even in the remotest places. Plus, penguins rock.

LISTEN TO IT:

I know you're probably tired of me talking about you know who, so I'll pre-recommend the new Arctic Monkeys album which comes out on Tues. I've heard the first single and its just enough of a departure to give me confidence that they have decided to evolve rather than rest on their style.

READ IT:

I am horrible. I used to be such an avid reader and right now I am only picking up magazines. And they are pretty much only British movie and music mags. Although, I did read a chapter of Little Children, but I made myself stop because I still haven't read a book I borrowed about a month ago. Sad, sad, sad.

A Bit Of Fluff

No picture today as Blogger is being evil and not working properly.

I don't know about you, but I have a hard time watching extended coverage of tragedy these days. I'm sure it's due to the influx of 24 hr. news networks that need to fill time. We get tons of repetition and often pointless speculation. To that end, here's a break from painful reality.

A couple of days ago I was in receiving and had the door open because we were getting a food delivery. There is a service road that runs behind our building that far too many people treat like their own little side street. I was on the phone when some old guy just comes walking into my receiving area. I'm sure I gave him the what-the-frak look. I asked him if I could help him. He crankily asked why there was a truck blocking the road.
Well, dumb ass, that would be because he's making a delivery using the road designed for delivery vehicles. Okay, that's not exactly what I said, but it was close. He wants to know when it would be leaving. I took a guess of anywhere from 5-15 minutes. I once again pointed out that it being a service road, it was not uncommon for there to be trucks in the middle of it. Asshole had to back out all the way to the Hometown Buffet side parking lot which gave me a little bit of sunshine in my day.

THE STREAK HAS BEEN BROKEN!
For the first time in 10 years, I did not have my "attitude problem" mentioned in my yearly review at work. You may ask, how did this happen? Answer: last year, after getting bitched at for "not supporting company policies" I decided to try an experiment. I stopped talking at managers meetings. I know I have mentioned how little I say. Well, it was done on purpose. The issue seemed to stem from my voicing my concerns and objections to some of the bone headed ideas that come down the corporate pipeline. Strangely, I was under the impression that part of the point of the mgr. meeting was to fully discuss the policies, procedures, goals, etc. of the company.
I know now I was wrong. I was ticked off that I was being punished for doing something I thought should be desired. It wasn't like I ran around the store yelling out "boy, this new procedure for processing magazine returns makes no sense and will ultimately be changed in 6 months when the guy who came up the idea leaves the company..." And, it wasn't like I didn't do my job or didn't do the procedures, etc. (or some slight variation of them) even though they may have been completely idiotic. Nope, I just didn't perform like a trained seal/cheerleader.
I find it both funny and sad that my lack of involvement was praised not once, but four times in my review. I am the exact same person as I was last year except for this one thing. First mgr. meeting after my review, I uttered about 2 sentences. Can't wait for my gold star.

Speaking of the company, I think I mentioned we were being investigated for stock option fraud. Well, the special committee has submitted their findings and because the screw ups involved many people and didn't benefit any one person or small group of select people, it was determined the co. wasn't committing fraud. But, we are full of idiots up top apparently. Seems that our stock option dating was screwed for a couple of reasons. The people who were doing it were lower level people who didn't actually know what they were doing and the CFO wasn't a part of the process. And, we were "back dating" stock options in all sorts of weird ways 'cuz someone told us we could. Oh, and we were essentially falsifying minutes from meetings.
Not surprisingly, the committee recommended the CFO actually be a part of this whole process (crazy I know) and we have some people involved that aren't members of the Board of Directors. Plus, we have to change certain policies, etc.
Once again, lack of communication is the key to evil.

Finally, three quick things:
My fave comic book writer, Brian K. Vaughan had his first Lost episode air tonight. I enjoyed it. I'm guessing the comic book references were his, but the general vibe of the show was very much in his style (even though he co-wrote this ep).
The Pres. has had 5 4-star generals turn down the War Czar position. The name of the position has been changed. I wonder if we'll see a listing for Execution Manager on HotJobs?
The new NIN freakin' rocks and it gave me an "oh shit!" moment. The top of the disc is covered with a treatment that reacts to heat. I'd heard something about it, but mistakenly thought it was going to be on the front of the case, not the cd itself. I was completely surprised when the cd that was black when I stuck it into my cd player in the car popped out white with binary code all over it!!!! My love for Trent Reznor has grown exponentially.

A blog without a title

I debated on writing anything today. When Jinn came back from lunch, she told me she'd heard that something really terrible had happened at Virginia Tech. We tried to find a newscast on the radio, but had no luck. A couple of our drivers provided sketchy updates. When I got back from dinner, I watched about 20 min. of CNN to find out the latest.

They talked to a student who lived in the dorm where two people were shot. They talked to the editor of the school newspaper. They talked to a couple of people who are apparently experts in something, though I couldn't tell you what. Obviously, it is still very early into the investigation and it will probably be atleast a few days before anyone gets a handle on what happened and why (if they ever figure that out). Though this has not stopped the 24 hr. news channels from creating special never ending programming speculating on such questions.

CNN's reporter, while speaking to another reporter, stated that the police had not released the names of any of the victims (as of around 7pm). BUT, they believed they had the name of one of the kids shot in the dorm. AND THEY FUCKING GAVE IT OUT!!!!! AND SHOWED HIS PICTURE. My little journalistic heart started pounding and I remembered exactly why I haven't done anything with my degree. REPORTERS OFTEN SUCK. More than likely, this poor guy's family has been notified since he was shot early this morning. Still, there's the chance that some friends or even distant relations haven't been told. Not to mention, sometimes the police don't tell us things for a reason. Sometimes that reason involves trying to build a case against someone. Now, it is entirely possible that it isn't a big deal that his name was leaked before the cops officially released it. But somehow it still felt really, really wrong.

Sorta like how Fox news gave out the name of the woman who had accused the Duke lacrosse players of raping her. Granted, she should probably see some sort of charge for filing a false police report or something along those lines. But, it appears as though she needs some sort of help and it doesn't do anyone any good to give out her name (and show her photo). Atleast not until charges, if any, are filed. Maybe it's just me who feels this way.

On a happier note:

As evidenced by my photo above, the new Nine Inch Nails cd comes out tomorrow and I am very excited. I've heard it online and it is amazing.

I was invited to a friend's house for dinner last week. My friends have two kids and their son, who is around 3 1/2 asked me (during the meal), "Do you have a penis?" It was all I could do to not bust out laughing. I said, "nope, sure don't." Mom explained that he had just recently discovered that not everyone has a penis like he does. He caught on as he watched Mom bathing his baby sister. He later asked something along the lines of "would you like a penis?" Again, a very loaded question, but I just said, "no, I think I'm good right now."

Bye Kurt

Sadly, Kurt Vonnegut died yesteday at age 84. Even though I didn't discover him until college, he was one of my favorite writers.

Just a couple of quick things since blogspot is supposed to be doing work on the site tonight.

At work:

As much as I'd like to report our SM didn't get the DM gig I mentioned earlier for some sort of evil reason, it appears that the gal who got the job has been very active in different discussion sort of groups that meet on the corporate level. The job is right up her alley.

Yesterday, someone who was hired last Fall came back looking for a customer order. It wasn't up front and they couldn't call the order up on the computer using the guy's email address because they thought it had been mis-entered. I asked if she'd looked it up under his name. She said "We can look up orders by name?" I am very scared.

Movies: The Lives Of Others completely rocked. Even though it takes place in East Germany in 1984, the tale of a government spying on its own people without their knowledge or without any particular reason is obviously relevant today. A seriously well done movie.

Okay, this is short, but I'm tired and it's almost site fixing time.

Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is...

Okay, she is not actually dead. BUT, we no longer have the talentless hack chick as our district manager!!!! Let the bells ring. Let us all rejoyce. Sadly, she is still a DM in the company. She just isn't our DM anymore. The districts got re-drawn and we are no longer bunched with her stores. Our new DM just got moved up to the position. She used to be a store manager, and a very well regarded one at that. Here's the interesting bit. She has been running a store that is much smaller than ours. And, I think, she hasn't been a SM as long as our SM. So, why is it our SM isn't the new DM?

Now, it may have something to do with the recent firing of one of our department managers. Which I still have no info on at this time by the by. I don't know if the position was posted or not. Our company, or atleast our district, has always been a bit fudgy with the whole legally required posting of available jobs thing. I'm curious to know if our uber was interviewed or if they just flat out asked the other SM without talking to any other potential suitors. Strange.

Jackie has recently gotten on me for not talking about Lost on here. So, here you are chicky-roo. Is it just me, or are they editing the show to make us think Sawyer could be the father of Sun's baby? The last ep he was being taught the "be nice to others" lesson by Hurley. At the end, he goes to chat with Claire and holds the baby. Cue soft light and music and meaningful glance towards Sun (Jin didn't seem to be looking his way at the time). Sawyer awkwardly smiles at Sun, but she just gives him this strange look then he turns back to the baby. I thought I read somewhere that the writers were going to clue us in as to who the daddy was. And if they are saying they have to tell us, that seems to imply that there is a question to be answered. Or it could all be a bunch of poo on their part. It's hard to tell.

24 has really started to go off the rails. I know the show is insane to begin with, but how are they going to draw out the whole gotta save the highly annoying Audrey plot for 7 flippin' hours!? Seriously, I was pretty excited when I thought the possibility of her being dead exsisted. But, no. We have to sit through their non-chemistry. Okay, I don't HAVE to do anything, but I've made it this far dammitt. This season has really been a re-tread of last year. Sorta sad.

Hopefully I will be seeing the German nominee for Best Foreign Film tomorrow. The Lives Of Others is the name and I've heard tons of good things about it. Keep your eyes peeled for a review soon.

Oh, dig The Daily Show's new set and graphics. Rock.

Mind Your Language

A quick story before I get to my review of Grindhouse.

Yesterday at work, I walked up to the cashwrap and greeted our head cashier. Rather than the usual, "hello" I opted for "bonsoir!" To my surprise, a customer who had been hovering in the general area comes over and starts enthusiatically speaking French to me! MERD! I quickly explained that my greeting encompassed about 1/3 or what I remembered from 4 yrs. of French in high school. Luckily, she spoke English so I was able to help her. Oops.

So, 3 hours and 15 minutes later I can recommend going to see Grindhouse. I think. Here's the deal. If you aren't a fan of the genre, you may want to skip seeing this double feature. Rodriguez honors/makes fun of everything inherent in the typical "grindhouse" picture. The cheesy lines, the stereotypical characters and plots, the look and feel...hell, he even calls upon his inner John Carpenter for the score. His film, Planet Of Terror was the more enjoyable of the two flicks. There's humor and tons of gore covering everything from zombies, to flying body parts to "medical terror." I was really pleased with Rose McGowen's performance as the dancer who ends up having her leg replaced with a gun (I didn't say this film made a whole lot of sense people).

Equally as fun are the fake trailers that come before and inbetween the films. I think my faves were the Rodriguez directed "Machete" which was sort of a stab at a Charles Bronson-esque anti-hero flick featuring Rodriguez fave, Danny Trejo. I also enjoyed Edgar Wright's "Don't" which was quite funny. Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS" was pretty good and Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving" did a great job of poking fun at the whole "holiday horror" genre, but had the most disturbing scene involving a half naked woman on a trampoline doing a split and a large knife. Let's just say I let out the sort of sound guys make when they see another guy get whacked in the crotch during a film.

Tarantino's "Death Proof" was disappointing. It pretty much goes like this: talking, car stunt, talking, car chase, foot in the head. Seriously, that's it. Granted, the car stunts are really impressive, especially the big chase at the end. And, the dialogue is typical Tarantino, quick and full of cussing. Still, it took too damn long to get to the destruction in my opinion...which I'm sure Tarantino is anxious to hear.

One final note:

There's a free HBO thing going on with my cable company for the next few days. Last night I got the chance to watch King Kong, the Peter Jackson version that is. I ended up seeing the last half first then flipping over to HBO2 to see the first half. I liked the second half better. I actually cried when Kong was fighting with the planes and then died. I could have lived without the prehistoric beasts action sequences though. I almost laughed watching the giant bugs crawling all over Adrian Brody. Which is not to say that I wouldn't mind crawling all over Adrian Brody so I understand their motivation. HA.

Ooooo--almost forgot. If you care go over to www.yearzero.nin.com to listen to the new NIN album. I can't wait till it's out and I can listen to it in my car on the way to work. Life will be lovely then.

Happy Easter.

Kiss kiss, Bunny.

Sadly, the store is still there...

After a pretty low key vacation, I returned to work on Tues. The whole point of me coming back on Tues. and not Mon. was to miss the managers' meeting. Of course, we did not have a meeting this week. Wankers. Receiving got hit really hard while I was gone (on Mon. alone we got 254 boxes...this would be considered a bit large for the holiday season) and have been playing catch up. When I left work tonight, there were approximately 10 carts that were at full capacity. And no hope in sight of extra shelvers to get these things cleared off.

As far as the manager situation I mentioned in a prior post, I am still waiting to hear what happened. I am also still watching the newspaper to see a write up on the probable illegal activity. We are a hot bed of drama!

The pic above is of the lovely Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I went and checked out The Lookout this past weekend and can definitely recommend viewing it. Joseph plays a guy who was involved in a serious car accident that left 2 friends dead, one girl missing a bit 'o leg and a nappy head injury for himself. He has difficulty remembering things he's just been told and sometimes forgets where he puts items. He has a notebook he uses to keep track of things. A guy who knew him, sorta, in high school approaches him and after a bit of bonding, the guy clues Joseph into a bank heist plot he and his cronies are hatching. The heist is going to happen at the bank Joseph works at (he's the night janitor) and they want to use him as the lookout.

The film was written and directed by Scott Frank, who is responsible for the screenplays for Out Of Sight (amazing flick) and Get Shorty (pretty darn good flick). Joseph is quite talented and does a great job showing his character's frustration with his condition and his life. Jeff Daniels does a fine job as the best friend/comic relief, only he's really pissy so the comedy is quite good and not saccarine.

Can't wait till Grindhouse this weekend!!!

WATCH IT:

When The Levees Broke--a 4 part documentary that originally aired on HBO, directed by Spike Lee. I've seen pts. 1 and 2 and they left me heartbroken. Compelling and moving.

LISTEN TO IT:

Make Another World--Idlewild. Yeah! A new album from these Scottish lads that I adore. This one seems to be a bit rock-y-er than their last one. I've gone through it twice and it gets better each time.

READ IT:

I've been very bad. I checked out a book at the beginning of my vacation and I haven't even started it yet. Maybe tonight.