Blog Full of Snark

Normally we get our deliveries between 12-2pm at the store. Our official window is 10:30-2:30. When our truck hadn't arrived by 3:20, I called to find out what was up. It was super freakin' hot and I was concerned that something had happened to the driver.

The guy in charge used his walkie talkie phone to call up the driver. He didn't put me on hold so it ended up I could hear the driver's responses. Scott called and asked where he was. The driver told him and asked who wanted to know. Scott told him I did then the driver responded with a rather snitty, "tell her to not get her panties in a bunch..."

True poetry isn't it.

Scott then said "you just told her, she can hear you." Not surprisingly, there was no response on the other end of the walkie talkie. I started laughing and told Scott the driver was a wanker. Scott gave me the okay to call the driver a wanker when he arrived. Instead I just told the driver he could rest easy knowing I had successfully removed my underwear from up my butt.

Should mention that the driver was one of our fill in guys and the other couple of times he's come here he's been a complete dick then as well. Oh, and he didn't get there till 4:15pm.

THINGS I LOATHE:
gold lame (sorry, can't put the accent on the e)--don't care if it's on a shoe, a purse, or a shirt--all of which I witnessed yesterday

flip flops--esp. on the feet of grown men-- step up and buy a real sandal please-- and teen age girls

kids under the age of 12 with cell phones

actually, cell phones in general

beat poetry cafe announcements

standing still and sweating--I need to move to Alaska.

MOVIE TRAILERS TO CHECK OUT:
Rocket Science--feels like Wes Anderson
The Darjeeling Limited--is Wes Anderson
The Brave One--Jodie Foster as vigilante
National Treasure: Book Of Secrets--winter cheese whiz with cute sidekick action

Double Feature

The Bourne Ultimatum:
Matt Damon--check. Kick ass car chase--check. Dizzying camera work--check. Plot that seems to have been written on a napkin--check. Yep, it's all there which means we have a Bourne sequel in theaters.

The thing I like best about the Bourne films is Matt Damon. He effortlessly brings humanity to a character we really shouldn't like if you stop and think about it for a second. The second best thing I like about these movies are the action sequences. There is a definite benefit to having an actor do his own stunts. The fights are always fast and thrilling. You can't tell me Casino Royale didn't borrow a few things from Bourne in making Bond grittier. Then there's the car chase. The chase is now a staple of the Bourne flicks and this time around we are in NYC. And fuck all if it isn't completely insane and amazing. I actually said "oh my God" out loud while watching it.

Joan Allen and David Straithairn (sp?) work off each other really well. One wants to save Bourne while one wants to kill him. Julia Stiles is back as Nicki, and while I do like her, I was confused by one sentence of dialogue. Jason asks Nicki why she was helping him and I thought she hinted that they had a relationship before he lost his memory, but I may have mis-heard the line because it was never referred to again.

I also thought it was a nice touch to have another great German actor, Daniel Bruhl, play Marie's brother. Daniel and Franka Potente came into German film just a few years apart. And, if you're a fan of their work, seeing him play her brother was a special treat. Wish he had more to do though.

This Bourne film is a great summer treat, just don't worry too much about certain plot holes, or ask too many questions. Just enjoy the fun of it all.

Sunshine:
Danny Boyle, whether he's planned it or not, seems to be on the road to mastering every genre of film. Indie Thriller--Shallow Grave. Indie Comedy/Character Piece--Trainspotting. Horror--28 Days Later. Indie Family Character Piece--Millions. Now on to sci-fi.

With Sunshine, Boyle finds a balance between the claustrophobic twitch of Alien and the cerebral, floaty quality of Solaris (the re-make, haven't seen the original). The basic story is the sun has been dying. One team of scientists was sent out to "re-start" the sun, but something went wrong. They never finished their mission and were never heard from again. We are with a second team and they are Earth's last hope.

The cast is chock full of talented actors from all parts of the world. Makes sense since the problem is global. Essentially, two mistakes are made. One was understandable, but potentially catastrophic. The second mistake came from a decision made earlier. You know, it seemed like the right thing to do, but...

Of course, if it hadn't been done, there would be no movie. Or, there would be a different movie.

Everything flowed nicely. The characters were recognizable, but not stereotypical. Well, except for the one whiny guy. One character, in a lesser actor's hands, would have come off as a dick. But, Chris Evans instead makes him someone who is focused on the big picture and is willing to make the tough decisions. In the end, he is one of the more heroic characters.

Even though Cillian Murphy is the "star" in that, other than Evans who is still making a name for himself, he is more well known than the other actors, it really isn't his movie. It is very much a movie about a group of people and how they react in certain situations.

As a said, it is floaty and cerebral more than "action-y." This doesn't mean there isn't tension and action. The ending is a bit pat, but overall satisfying. The effects are really cool--the ship looks amazing. And, I've always been a fan of the way Boyle can tell a story through the visual language of film. This might not be for everyone, but if you like Boyle's work, or want to try something different, I recommend Sunshine.

RENT IT:
The History Boys--
Based off a hit London play, the story is about a group of common kids trying to get into Oxford. The dialogue is so wonderful to listen to; the playwright adapted it himself for the screen. The kids are all interesting in their own way, as well as the teachers. I think one of my favorite scenes had to be when Hector (an older teacher played by Richard Griffiths--Mr. Dursley to most of you) is explaining the beauty of literature. He says how wonderful it is when you read someone else describing a thought or feeling that you thought was singular to yourself. He says it's as if the writer has reached out his hand and taken yours and said you are not alone. I'm not doing it justice, but it almost made me cry. Don't worry, most of the film is freakin' funny. Dig it today.

An Exercise In Futility, Not To Be Confused With Yoga

First, the really exciting news---Lego Indiana Jones coming out for a gaming system near you in summer of '08 to jive with the release of Indy IV! Yeah!!!! I love both Lego Star Wars games. First, because they are just freakin' funny and cute. Second, because I can actually beat them! Woo!

Fridge Update: No fridge yet. In preparation, I have removed all magnets and photos from dead fridge. I have also cleared a path to the fridge. I still need to clean off the top, which I don't think I've done in about 5 years or so. This is what happens when you live alone. Of course, deciding you can hack off the ice without consequence also happens when you live alone. The benefits of a spouse must include the prevention of bone headed behaviour.

Hobbit Update: Heard today that the trial has occured. Don't know when, but word is he got 1 1/2 yrs. prison or probation---I think it's prison time. He also got fined $20,000 PLUS restitution. Current word is he also did something else, but I don't think I can go into it right now. I can say he took company "property" that didn't belong to him. We only hire the best.

Computer Update: Still screwed. The system was down all morning. Was up for about an hour in the afternoon, crashed again for around 30 or so minutes and then came back up. Word is we are getting a new server sent to us tomorrow. The store will need to plan around its installation. We will have to close all day in order to get it done is what I hear. No offense, but getting a new server and closing for a day was what we should have done in the first place. I don't know what I was expecting though. This is the company that had us using Windows 95 up until 2 years ago. We could have bought a couple of servers for what we've paid for in parts and labor. Not to mention the pain and suffering of employees and customers alike. Allegedly, one customer threatened to return with a gun she was so pissed off. I didn't hear who was telling that story so it's probably an exaggeration, but not by much I'm guessing.

WATCH IT:

Went and saw The Simpsons Movie last night. It was pretty damn funny. The story slows just a bit, but they did a better job with a plot than the Reno 911 movie. There were some touching moments as well and Tom Hanks' cameo is a hoot. One of my favorite lines comes when Homer is working his way to an epiphany. He is shouting out the different thoughts and revelations he is having and one of them is "if you shake it more than twice it's playing with yourself!" I about fell out of my seat with that one.

Death By Dur-hey

Look, it's me. Or rather it's me as a Simpsons type character. I know it doesn't quite look like me, but I had to design it using the available features from the characters that exist. There is an option to download a picture of yourself to have it done more accurately, but unlike Paris Hilton, I don't have tons of photos readily available of myself on my computer.


So I'm back from Arkansas visiting a friend with another friend and her family. 9 hours by car. Let me add to that. 9 hours by car with two young girls. In all honesty, the girls did really pretty well. Thanks dvd player and latch hook pillow! I realized that where we went was a lot like where I live, only with accents. The city festival we went to could have easily been plopped down in my home town.


Had a couple of firsts during the trip. Rode in a Mercedes for the first time. I am even more convinced I am not a car person. All I was thinking about during the ride was how I was lower to the ground than usual and it reminded me of Sherri Swanson's Camero back in high school.


I also attempted to scale one of those rock climbing walls. I went up mostly because I figured no one knew me in this town so if I did horribly no one could rat me out. I checked out the safety system first before making my attempt. I had asked the lady who was running it with her husband (?) if I could have the side that didn't face people. She told me that was the toughest side so instead I ended up providing the viewing public with a fine view of my flat ass. Though, even in a harness I doubt my ass was any more disturbing to see than the t-shirt I saw one bigger gal wearing. It read "objects under this shirt are larger than they appear." Insert your own joke/horror stricken sound effect here.


Thanks to watching various survival type programming on t.v. (thanks Man Vs. Wild!), I knew I needed to sort of plan my moves as I went up. I was doing pretty good and got up to within a couple or three feet of the top when I realized I'd made a mistake. I could only reach out with my left hand. The only "rock" I could grab was maybe 1 to 1 1/2 inches across and stuck out about the same. My left foot was stretched out enough I wasn't going to get any good pushing force out of it. And, I was holding myself up with my right hand so I couldn't use it to reach for another "rock." Since it was my only option, I reached for the little nub, took hold of it and tried to quickly get my right hand free. I reached up with my right hand, lost hold with my left, felt my feet start to slip and then....wheeeeee...down I float. Truth be told, the ride down was the best part. I was so close to hitting that flippin' buzzer too. Oh well. At least I can say I did it once.

So, on to the point behind the title of today's blog.


You know how you're told not to chip away at ice, etc. that forms in your fridge. You should take out the food and defrost the damn thing.


Not so much with me. No, I decide I can do it carefully.


One cooling gas leak later...


I killed my fridge. At 10pm. After a day of having the computers crash repeatedly at work, meaning I got about 10 boxes received ALL DAY! We still have about 100 boxes waiting to be done and another 100 on the way tomorrow.


Yeah.


I rushed some stuff over to my Mom's then called my landlord to let him know what I'd done. I will hopefully have a new fridge in a couple of days. What a pain in the ass and I have no one to blame but myself. Whee.