Stop bending over in my general vicinity.
Seriously, I am tired of looking at the asses of the masses as it were.
It doesn't matter if I'm in the grocery store, at Target, or walking through the bookstore...someone is bending over at the waist shoving their booty right in my general direction. Sadly, most of these people really should not be offering up their junk to God or whomever may be passing by at the time.
Now that I think about it, even if you had a great butt I'm not sure I want to be introduced to it while you are leaning over to pick up some Dijon mustard.
What happened to squishing down at the knees in some sort of polite fashion? Has this gone the way of the bow in society?
Of course, depending on what you are wearing, squishing may then provide me with an equally horrific view---butt crack/thong exposure. What makes people think everyone really wants to see their underwear via lowcut jeans I don't know? I think a lot of these same people think "Get 'er done" is a viable use of satire.
WATCH IT:
Bug--I recently rented this movie starring Ashley Judd and it tripped me out. It reminded me of Safe (Julianne Moore). It's a weird love story about two really damaged people who find each other. It's hard to explain without giving too much away. I will say it was adapted from a play by the playwright himself, which is always a good thing. Also, the male lead is played by the lead from the play and that is evident in how he just completely "is" this person. I was really surprised by how cool and provocative the film was...even with the presence of Harry Connick, Jr.
READ IT:
Pretending You Care: The Retail Handbook--
I sooooo should have written this book. I laugh at every page because I recognize everything this guy is talking about. Even though it is technically a humor book, it should be required reading for everyone so they treat retail folks better. Should also be used to alert workers to exactly what awaits them in the retail sector.
2 comments:
Squishing down at the knees has gone the way of the curtsy, I think...something our mothers may have taught us was the proper thing to do, yet seemed like an antiquated gesture. I now find myself more appreciative when someone points their "scent glands" elsewhere. WOOF!
I'm laughing out loud. It could be your superb ass commentary, or it could be the beer I'm having for (not with) lunch.
Here's an ass crack story that would have set you off...
When I first started nannying a few years ago, I bought some cheap "nanny jeans" that I planned to gunk up with daily kid-goo, etc. Well, seeing as how they were cheap, they didn't fit that well. I didn't notice that my ass was hanging out, though, until one day I was squatting to pick something up and one of the little boys dropped a crayon down my butt. I guess it was an easy target. I can only imagine how many times I flashed his parents before he made me shockingly aware of the situation...
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