WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE SEASON FINALE OF LOST YET, DON'T READ THIS!!Time for the Lost finale recap, which has almost become a tradition with me (for better or worse).
Here's some random things in rough chronological order as they appeared on the show.
-It was cool to see the Black Rock while Jacob and ? were talking on the beach.
-I'm starting to wonder if we are going to get a flashback with Kate as Patsy Cline. As soon as you hear Patsy, you know Kate is involved.
-First "Jacob meets the gang" moment involves the purchase of a New Kids On The Block lunch box...obviously a bad omen.
-So, Richard doesn't age because of Jacob? How does that work exactly? Jacob doesn't age either.
-Jacob does his Ione Skye impersonation and gives young Sawyer a pen. (Okay, that's not exactly it, but any time I can work in a Say Anything reference, I will.)
-I gleefully enjoy "bitchy" Ben. He is wonderful when he is snarky.
-Hmmm...just how nice is Jacob when he sets up Sayid's wife to get hit by a car.
-Because, sometimes, we must have obvious justice, Ben's Dad shoots Sayid.
-YEAH VINCENT! SUPER YEAH FOR BERNARD AND ROSE!!! I love B & R more than I can express. How freakin' cool is it that they have been just hanging out for the last three years enjoying their time together?
-What's in the freakin' box?
-Jacob knows Ilana (sp?) too. I wonder how long he's known her. Apparently she feels their relationship is strong enough to withstand burning his crappy shack.
-BEST JACOB MEETS THE GANG MOMENT: While sitting in front of a large building, Jacob is reading is Flannery O'Connor's "Everything That Rises Must Converge." Moments into the flashback, we see a body falling to the ground behind him. It's Locke when he fell out the window and lost the use of his legs! I probably shouldn't have, but I laughed at the funny weirdness of it.
-Gleeful Locke works his mojo on bitchy Ben, pushing all the right buttons to try and convince Mr. Linus to kill Jacob.
-Thanks to various storm warnings, I wasn't able to read the captions for Jin and Sun's wedding when Jacob was there.
-Jacob is almost the old woman who lives in a shoe; instead, he's the ageless man who lives in a foot.
-So Jacob buys Kate a lunch box, gives Sawyer a pen, does something at J & S's wedding, buys Jack a snack--but essentially kills Sayid's wife...not very fair I say.
-Jack and Sawyer chat and surprise to no one, all of Jack's bomb motivation has to do with Kate. Man up dude! I believe Sawyer feels the same because he goes on to kick Jack's ass.
-Poor Juliet realizes this is the beginning of the end for her and lovely James so she decides to help Jack to keep her and James from ever meeting so she will never be hurt.
-Jack convinces Kate to join him by hitting the Claire Guilt Button found on Kate's soul
-Hey look, Jacob got Hurley out of jail...these things are starting to get just a little annoying.
-Jack snags the bomb and heads off, but not before kissing Kate...no wait, that would only happen if he'd stop being quite so unrequite-y...instead he LOOKS at Kate. Erm...okay.
-Locke and Ben go into the foot to see Jacob. Here Ben, have a big ass knife.
-Miles has slowly become one of my favorites. How brilliant that he points out that perhaps setting off the bomb is "the incident" they are trying to avoid? "Glad you all thought this out..."
-Guns, explosions, yelling, the drill won't stop, sorry Phil, drop your weapons, Jack tosses the bomb into the hole, Jack and Kate share a look, Sawyer and Juilet share a better look and....and....and....NOTHING HAPPENS! Oops. Hold on, something does happen...remember when the energy was building up before?...metallic things start flying towards the hole. Miles helps his Dad, Jack is knocked out, Juliet gets snagged by some chains and is drug into the hole. (NO, NO, NO, NO...she's such a great actress and character!!!) Plenty of amazing acting between Elizabeth Mitchell and Josh Hallowy ensues as Sawyer tries to save her (Kate can't do much). F*CK ME, THEY'RE GOING TO KILL JULIET!!
-What lies in the shadow? "He who will protect us."
-Seriously, what's in the box...a body from the cargo hold? Slow reveal to...LOCKE'S DEAD BODY! What the hell? Who's in the foot with Ben?
-"Locke" aka ? from the opening is gleefully egging Ben on while Jacob tells Ben he has a choice. Sadly, Ben feels like Jacob has completely ignored him the entire time he has been on the island. Plus, when Ben asks Jacob what is wrong with him, Jacob answers with a "What about you?" Not entirely snarky, but probably not what Ben needs emotionally right now. So, Ben stabs him...twice. Just before getting kicked into the fire by "Locke," Jacob says, "They're coming." Who's coming? The crew from the 70's? The group lead by Ilana? Crazy ninjas? Sane ninjas?
-Back to the hole, Jack, Kate and Sawyer start trying to leave (where are Miles, Sayid and Hurley during this?). ACK! Juliet is still alive...just. Well look, there's the bomb. She starts hitting it with a rock and KA-BOOM!
-Then the "poof-ish" sound effect and the title appears on screen. YOU BASTARDS! At least 8 months before we know what happened! How did ? know about Locke? How long has he been off the island? How do he and Jacob get off the island? Did he visit everyone too? Where the hell is Claire? ARRRGGHHHH!!!!! Did the smoke monster know that "Locke" was ? guy? If so, does that make the smoke monster work exclusively for the bad guys or does Smokey have a separate agenda? By appearing as Alex, it pushed a very guilty feeling Ben to vow he would do whatever Locke told him to do. Is it working with ? to get rid of Jacob or was it fooled too?
No wonder I love this show!
Thoughts?
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