Add two more to the list

Wanna see a really depressing movie? Wanna be reminded that a lot of people in this world suck? Wanna see Brad Pitt with gray hair? Then do I have the film for you.
I went and saw Babel the other day and for the first time in a long time, I was wishing a flick would just end all ready. Holy crap this was a downer.
You people know me. I like dark stuff. I appreciate not only films that allow us to escape, but also films that dive deep into how messed up life can be. But, damn, there is virtually no hope in this movie. Maybe my reaction comes more from seeing a lot of "heavy" films as of late (what can I say, Reno 911 Miami isn't out till Feb. 23--can't wait by the way!), but jinkies this was a painful 2 1/2-ish hours. I'm even a fan of the director. Loved his first movie Amores Perros. Have no problem at all with a non-linear story telling technique. Liked most of the cast.
Still, I don't think this should win the Best Pic Oscar. Only one of the two people up for Best Supporting Actress from this movie was in it enough to garner the notice--though, she was very good.
I had to pop in Caddyshack when I got home just to bring back the will to live.

Also saw Volver, which I'm pleased to say was quite good. I'm a big Almadovar fan, though I'm sure I'm not spelling his name correctly. It was great to see Carmen M. from Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown (a personal fave) up on the screen again. I recognized her as soon as she started speaking. Penelope Cruz is pretty good, as is the cast as a whole. As usual, Almadovar has once again proved himself to be one of the few story tellers that really seems to understand women. The movie is a gentle ride of sorts and ends on a quiet note.

Rented a great documentary--This Film Is Not Yet Rated. The filmmaker hired a PI to track down and identify the members of the MPAA ratings board. The members' identities are supposed to be kept secret to protect them from "influence." Yet, these same people often discuss the films they are reviewing with studio personnel so it appears that they are really being protected from being held accountable for their decisions. If you're interested in the movie making process or how this whole ratings thing allegedly works, this is one flick to definitely check out.

READ IT:
Nick Hornby-The Housekeeping Vs. The Dirt--the second collection of his critical reviews originally published in Believer magazine. Hornby starts by listing all the books he's purchased for the month alongside a list of what he's actually read that month. The reviews are more like funny essays and provide plenty of insight and laughs.

LISTEN TO IT:
today's repeat button song of the day--Nine Inch Nails--Big Come Down

WATCH IT:
See above, silly...

Sitting In The Dark With Strangers (not to be confused with Jane's Addiction's Standing In The Shower Thinking)

Four films in six days. That's right, you heard me. Oscar season is upon us and all those great films that I've been hearing about for months settle into town at the exact same time. It would have been 5 films, but due to lengthy showtimes, I couldn't get the schedule to work out. This week I'm hoping to hit atleast 3, if not 4 more.

Last King Of Scotland:

Forrest W. deserves his Oscar nom with his performance. He is both charming and disturbing in his role. He was totally denied for his work in Ghost Dog so I hope he wins this year. Also quite good is up and coming James McAvoy who has to play opposite the big man. James holds his own and I'm looking forward to seeing the next couple of films he has coming out this year.

Pan's Labyrinth:

Wow. A film that beautifully shifts back and forth between the horror of a fairy talke quest and Fascism in '44 Spain. Even with the disturbing creatures that make up the quest, the most frightening evil persona in the movie is the fascist captain.

Perfume:

It's weird, but it's Tom Tkwyer (sp?) the man behind Run Lola Run, Winter Sleepers and The Princess and The Warrior (3 major faves of mine). 1800's France was seriously disgusting I must say. The basic premise revolves around a man born with an extraordinary ability to smell. He becomes obsessed with preserving what, to him, was the perfect scent. And, he goes to some hard core extremes in order to do so. The eerie bit is he isn't killing women out of hatred, he's killing them to achieve the ultimate beautiful expression in his mind. The last 15 or so minutes are very strange. All I will say is I want to know which nudist colonies he talked to in order to get that many naked people together in one place.

Little Children:

I want to be Kate Winslet. She is freaking amazing in everything she does. She deserves the Oscar nom, in fact she deserves to win. Let's just give Helen Mirren her own award ('cuz she deserves it too) and let Kate get this one. Directed by Todd Field, who so achingly captured the fragility of a family in the aftermath of tragedy (oohhh...didn't that sound all review-y and shit), Little Children takes a look at the suburban landscape with just as much of an acute eye. Kate is spectacular as an unfufilled housewife. It is really rare to see a woman being honest enough with herself when she questions just how awe inspiring having a child really is and how much she misses her old life. She cares about her daughter, but she feels like she has missed out on something and she struggles everyday to find some sort of balance. Kate's character, Sarah, falls into an affair with a stay at home dad (called The Prom King by the shallow mommies at the playground) played with real skill by Patrick Wilson. Wilson was amazing in Hard Candy earlier this year.

Most of the characters in Little Children have yet to grow up even though they are leading very adult lives. Sarah's character has a gut wrenching arc throughout the movie that makes you love, understand, and respect her. I'm at a loss to think of another actress who could have done this part with such grace and talent.

Hopefully this week I will be seeing the following:

Babel

Volver

Letters From Iwo Jima

Notes On A Scandal

On a different note, to refer back to my work story involving the "waiting and waiting..." guy. I talked to the woman who first helped him. She says she went back to the line to tell the guy his books were in and he'd hung up. She then tried calling the number he'd given on his order and NO ONE ANSWERED THE PHONE!!! Big poo head.

Taking A Bite Out Of Crime

WARNING: IF YOU TAPED THE FOUR HOUR PREMIERE OF 24 AND HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET--DON'T READ THIS ENTRY!!!

Jack Bauer bit into a guy's jugular in order to escape. Then, with blood dripping down his chin, he spits out a hunk of flesh. I've haven't seen such enthusiasm for neck biting since Dawn Of The Dead. Perhaps Jack is also a zombie. I was laughing so hard I was crying when it happened. I don't know if 24 has jumped the shark, but it is definitely revving up the bike. So, a nuke has gone off in LA and now Jack is really pissed off. Wonder what will happen next week.

The guy who delivers our boxes has just started watching the show. He picked it up from two places--hearing me talk about it with Jinn and Rush Limbaugh...I can't tell you how much I hate the fact that Rush and I like the same show...of course I know it's only a television show. I'm not so sure that Rush, or our driver, have grasped that concept yet. Jack also just happened to snag a car that just happened to have a cell phone in it with GPS so he could enter in the longitude and latitude numbers he overheard because, in true comic book fashion, the bad guy figures he can tell details about his plan to the man he's about to kill but, oops...he gets interrupted and they leave the good guy with one lame ass bad dude to watch over him.

Today at work I answered the phone and an older sounding gentleman complained that he'd called to check on an order he'd placed and was left on hold for 30 minutes. Now, I just happened to have helped the woman who'd taken his first call and I know she had answered the phone about 5 minutes before his second call. Liar, liar. I made up some crap about the lines being busy (which they were) and perhaps she'd lost track of which line he was on and in trying to determine which line was his got roped into helping other customers. 'Cuz usually there is more than one person who needs help around here and sometimes we do offer assistance. We're sorta nutty that way.

Anywho, I explain that I will need to put him on hold in order to check the books because I am not on a cordless phone and will need to walk to the opposite side of the store. He wants to know how long I'm going to take. 'Da hell? I suppose I could offer to sprint, but screw that. I tell him that it'll probably take about a minute and a half to get up there and find his two books. He gets all snitty with me and says "Well, are you sure? I don't want to have to be kept waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting..." He continues to repeat the phrase "and waiting" for about...I kid you not...90 FLIPPIN' SECONDS. I wanted to interrupt and say--Hey ass munch, if you'd shut your freakin' mouth I could've been up there already and you could go back to watchin' The Wheel. Instead, I hold my tounge and say--I promise I'll be right back.

So, I find his two books. The poor woman who'd helped him the first time had got caught at cashwrap, probably while trying to find his books. I get back on the phone and let him know they are both up here waiting for him. He then tells me to put a note on the book specifically stating he will be there tomorrow to buy them. We hold these freakin' things for 2 weeks then call you and give you another week so it's your own damn fault 99% of the time if they end up getting reshelved 'cuz you can't get your ass in here. He tells me to make sure and not write the note on the books because...

And here I interrupt and say "because the writing makes an imprint on the cover, yeah I know."

Wanker. So I write the note and keep my voice as pleasant as possible when saying goodbye. Of course, when I hit receiving I'm retelling my story to Jinn and questioning when it is this guy is going to finally join his minons in hell. Love my job.

WATCH IT:

click over to comingsoon.net and look for the trailer for Danny Boyle's new flick Sunshine...it's sick as the kids would say

HEAR IT:

Silversun Pickups--Lazy Eye Big thanks to Todd for pointing this group out to me. They sound like early Smashing Pumpkins if the Pumpkins were from L.A. The lead singer comes across a bit like the love child of Lindsey Buckingham and Liz Phair.

Memory loss...the college edition

I got a document frame for Christmas. I'd asked for it so I could hang up my college degree rather than have it sitting in the faux leather folder I'd been given when I'd graduated. While taking the degree out, I was surprised to find my transcripts underneath. I'm sure they arrived with my degree, but I'd forgotten all about them.

My surprise increased when I discovered I didn't remember several of the classes listed. Fall semester of my junior year I took a SOC 331 class, Criminology. HOLY SHIT! I took Criminology? I can't believe I've forgotten that. It must not have been too technical, because I didn't really have any precurser classes relevant to the topic. But, damn. I love that stuff now.

Then, I looked at my grade for the course. It was a "C." I had a straight B average for my college career, getting C's in 6 classes in my 124 hours of course work. The C classes show a definite trend. The two I had Freshman year were in the two classes I skipped the most because I was catching up on sleep. But, it was not because of crazy partying or the second hand pot smoke from Arnold during one of Steven and Bonnie's dinners.

Nope. It was because I was doing some God awful overnight shift at the radio station. I had a better shift during the summer and my sophomore year, so no C's. Junior year I'd moved up to the "big" station so once again, crappy shift with some C's (although, I think my C in Law And Communications also reflected the fact that it was a tough class and I'd been made PD that semester).

Summer and fall reflected a couple more C's, but then, when my time as PD was done and I was working only the 9-Midnight shift M-F, the C's once again vanish. On the plus side, I got 7 A's, although they were for some weird classes.

Injuries In Sport--I remember watching a slide show on eye injuries that was a bit disgusting.
Introduction to Film--(does this suprise anyone) One of the better Illini basketball players at the time, Doug Altenberger, was in my class, though I only ever saw him there once.
Forms Of Composition--I think this was the class where I wrote a paper on how lame the electorial college is.
American Govt. Organization and Powers--took it over the summer and I just remember it was warm in the room most of the time
Arts-Theater-Interpretation--get graded to go see plays and review them...hell, yeah.
English Lit. 1798-Present--get grades for reading great books and writing a paper on them...see above.
Persuasion and The Art...--this was a senior yr. speech comm class that I'm not really sure what it was on, unless it was that documentry film class I took.

I think I remember more of the concerts I saw over my college career.
Jane's Addiction-during an attempt to get out of the mosh pit, some guy accused me of going to Catholic school--uh, no, just tired of getting trampled by loser frat boys.
The Smithereens--got to meet them at the station, then after the show, ran into them at Steak N Shake where the drummer stole fries from my plate and remembered my name!
Soul Asylum--right up against the stage for this one, the guy two people down from me was throwing up into his empty pitcher in time with the music
REM--can't tell you how many times I saw them in college--stole a Green St. sign with my friend Ed in an attempt to get backstage, we got it into the arena, past security (thanks to my idea for how to hide the thing in Ed's coat!) and to the backstage area, but to no avail. Got to meet them later when I became PD. One of the best nights ever.
Then there's U2, The Bears, Jeff Healey Band, The Replacements, Violent Femmes, B-52's, Poster Children, and on and on.

While it would be nice to recall some more of my classes, I still wouldn't give up the time I spent at the station for anything. I probably learned more there than in class...or atleast, learned more of what I actually use in my life. So, the transcript will go back to where it was, behind the degree I don't really use but don't regret either.

Dark Times Ahead

Children Of Men is not the movie to see if you are looking for something light on a Sat. afternoon. This movie stays with you long after you leave the theater. The basic premise is in the future (2027 actually) humans are no longer able to procreate. We aren't given an exact reason why, but just by looking at how ripped apart and littered the world has become, it's hard not to surmise that trashing ourselves and the environment probably had something to do with the condition people find themselves in. England is the last country standing, but the situation is so bleak that the leaders have created hard core immigration laws to keep Brits in and everyone else out. Throughout the movie you see cages at check points where people are being held in addition to advertisements recommending turning in anyone suspicious regardless of who they might be...neighbor, barber, doctor.

Clive Owen plays Theo whose day starts simply enough as he buys a coffee at the local cafe. Moments after he exits, the place explodes though the responsible party is never really confirmed. Later, he is abducted and taken to meet with his ex-wife who runs an activist organization. She needs his help getting a pregnant woman through secure check points and to the shore in order to meet with another group called The Human Project. I won't tell you anything else so as to not spoil the story.

I can tell you everyone is great in this movie. Clive Owen does a great job as a former activist turned everyman compelled to resort to his old ways by his own moral code. The movie is dark and I don't just mean the story line. Everything is gray and dirty (unless you're rich) and no one seems to really be living their life with any sort of joy. The one exception would be the character played by Michael Caine who lives with his wife in a hidden location in the country.

There are two main "action" sequences that are awe inspiring. I can't even begin to imagine just how long it took to plan and film these sequences. And yet, they move with such fluidity you never feel like they are somehow seperate from the rest of the film. Also, I have now seen the most realistic birthing scene ever. I am baffled at how this was accomplished, although I have some guesses.

Go see this movie. You may not feel that great afterwards, but just sit with it for awhile and you will fully appreciate what you have been able to see.

On a lighter note here are a couple of things to mention:

I realized I made a serious error when I left The Daily Show off my list of best of tv shows!!! I'm sure my membership in the Jon Stewart fan club will be revoked.

At realage.com you can take a quiz that helps you determine what your "real" age is based on what you eat, how much or little you exercise, etc. I took the quiz and surprisingly my real age ended up being my actual age. During the quiz, you are asked to determine your resting heart rate. I couldn't find my freakin' pulse!!! I tried both wrists and nothing. Apparently, I am a zombie. If I'm lucky, it was Cillian Murphy who bit me and made me said zombie. I ended up finding a pulse in my neck, but I was so annoyed I doubt if it was truely restful.

As always during the holidays and post holidays in retail, the extremely weird people seem to come out for their winter purchasing trek. No one has any idea what they are looking for and expect you to know exactly what an 8 yr. old boy wants for Christmas. Here are a couple of recent requests folks at work have heard:

"I need a book by Lewis Lame-er (phonetic spelling)." The guy actually wanted a book by Louis L'Amour (lewee la-more).

"I need a book on making babies." After attempting to direct the man to the sexuality section (although I'd recommend Judy Blume's Forever myself), it was discovered his wife actually sent him to the store to find a book on fertility.

"I'm looking for that love story that's $15 that was in the paper." Customer had no idea who the author was, what the title was, or when the book was mentioned in the paper.

And another customer complained that he didn't want to come to our store, but his mom made him (this guy was atleast 40). He likes our competitor because the girls are better looking there. He also told another employee, who is rather tall and stout, that the employee was a planet and all the other workers were moons revolving around him.

WATCH IT:
24 baby!!!! Jack Bauer is back this Sun. and Mon. in four hours that will thankfully begin with him somewhat naked getting rid of that skanky ass hair he's grown over the last two years while being held in a Chinese prison.

HEAR IT:
"Bitch" The Stones. Makes me want to strut and pout like Mick.

READ IT:
Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr: Affirmations For Cynics--Ann Thornhill and Sarah Wells.
While putting books on the bookcase I got for Christmas (thanks Mom!), I re-discovered this book. Here's a sample affirmation: "While in coversations today, I will practice keeping a mental inventory of other people's stupidity." Warning, this book can get really harsh so it's best taken in small doses.

Finally, another fabulous person is leaving the store. Laura, one of our department managers is going off to a better job. Her leaving creates a void of both sanity and wit that will be sorely missed. My own fragile grip on the reality that is our manager meetings will be cut at last leaving me to float about like that last Cheerio in the bowl you can never quite catch with your spoon without spilling milk on your jammies. She will hopefully continue to read the blog and email me...dammit.

Till next time...

Dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria

Ohh, look it's a new font. Someday I will figure out the various features of this darned blog. I will be 100 years old and still cranky.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU WORK FOR SATAN:

1) Your boss knows your fellow co-worker had to leave early for the day (before you came in), but doesn't bother to tell you when you arrive. Or tell you when said boss comes in to the department about 90 min. later. Or when said boss comes in a couple of hours later. Or when you call said boss to say you are going on lunch so NO ONE will be in the department. Apparently my boss thinks I'm psychic.

2) At direction of said boss, you have to put off your normal duties to essentially take one for the team by completing a task that should really be done by someone else. It involves climbing a ladder repeatedly, pulling down and putting back up heavy boxes (one weighed 60 lbs. I checked) ,searching for certain books and flipping through a multi page list to mark off each and every one. Only to then spy this important list still sitting in the back room on top of some transformer type thing that gets rather warm and has random crap stuck on top of it. The question then becomes why the hell did I have to mark this crap off the list?

3) Blood oozes from the walls when boss enters department. Okay, that doesn't actually happen, but ever since one of our cleaning ladies got hurt (back in Sept.) as has yet to be temporarily replaced, I'm surprised we don't have weird stuff sliding down the walls and crawling all over the floor. It sort of looks like a coke lab blew up on the sales floor thanks to all the bits and pieces of dust and packing peanuts that are everywhere.

Possible Watch It:
I'm going to see Children of Men this weekend so I'll let you know how it was.

Hear It:
Ivy--"Beautiful" off their debut album. I recently reconnected with a friend I haven't corresponded with for a few years and he mentioned he had me to thank for becoming a fan of this band. I try to spread happiness where and when I can.

Read It:
Best War Ever--I'm actually reading this at work during my lunch break so I don't have the book handy to tell you who wrote it. It's done by the same guys who did the fabulous Weapons Of Mass Deception. BWE is sort of a continuation of that book. It looks at just how much our government lied to us about the Iraq war and their intentions. It'll make you mad, but it's information you should know.

And on that note:
George W. Bush, Washington DC, Feb. 2005--
"The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else. That is one of the main differences between us and our enemies."

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Finally, the final list. For now.

FAVE MOVIES OF 2006:

1) Stranger Than Fiction--I did an entire post on this movie so scroll down a bit to get the full recap.

2) Little Miss Sunshine/Hard Candy/Half Nelson--the 3 best indie flicks I saw last year. Sunshine was a virtually perfect dark comedy (the talent part of the pagent at the end had me crying I was laughing so hard). Hard Candy featured a performance by Ellen Page that I think deserves an Oscar (also discussed in a prior post). Half Nelson showcased Ryan Gosling's amazing talent as an actor.

3) The Fountain--Trippy, beautiful, emotional and full of the equally lovely Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz (sp).

4) Clerks 2--scroll for the post. Jeff Anderson rocks.

5) Slither/The Descent--scroll again, love the gore and the dark humor and the genre bending approaches of the two movies.

6) Casino Royale--one of the few movies I saw twice this year. You already know what I think about this and its star Daniel Craig.

7) The Prestige--quite smart and twisty turny with solid performances from Christian Bale and (again) Hugh Jackman.

8) The Queen--Major props to Helen Mirren for tackling the icon with such skill. The guy who played Tony Blair was very good as well.

9) Inconvenient Truth--Al Gore spells it out. Be sure and pay attention (as if the 50's we've been having in freakin' Dec. isn't evidence enough).

10) V for Vendetta--this made it mostly because I haven't seen the two movies that would probably push it off the list. Still, I loved getting to see a lot of British and Irish actors that I worship in a compelling story.

PROBABLY GREAT BUT STILL WAITING TO SEE:
Volver--the latest from Pedro Almodovar
Pan's Labyrinth--Guillermo Del Torro (I know I butchered his name)
This Film Is Not Yet Rated--doc on the crappy rating system that we have in this country

There you go...discuss.

Quick note: I started to get the NIN thingie myself till I checked how it was doing and saw that it was going to take 35 DAYS for me to get it completed. So, I've pretty much decided to skip it. Oh well...just have to wait till it's legal.