Taking A Bite Out Of Crime

WARNING: IF YOU TAPED THE FOUR HOUR PREMIERE OF 24 AND HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET--DON'T READ THIS ENTRY!!!

Jack Bauer bit into a guy's jugular in order to escape. Then, with blood dripping down his chin, he spits out a hunk of flesh. I've haven't seen such enthusiasm for neck biting since Dawn Of The Dead. Perhaps Jack is also a zombie. I was laughing so hard I was crying when it happened. I don't know if 24 has jumped the shark, but it is definitely revving up the bike. So, a nuke has gone off in LA and now Jack is really pissed off. Wonder what will happen next week.

The guy who delivers our boxes has just started watching the show. He picked it up from two places--hearing me talk about it with Jinn and Rush Limbaugh...I can't tell you how much I hate the fact that Rush and I like the same show...of course I know it's only a television show. I'm not so sure that Rush, or our driver, have grasped that concept yet. Jack also just happened to snag a car that just happened to have a cell phone in it with GPS so he could enter in the longitude and latitude numbers he overheard because, in true comic book fashion, the bad guy figures he can tell details about his plan to the man he's about to kill but, oops...he gets interrupted and they leave the good guy with one lame ass bad dude to watch over him.

Today at work I answered the phone and an older sounding gentleman complained that he'd called to check on an order he'd placed and was left on hold for 30 minutes. Now, I just happened to have helped the woman who'd taken his first call and I know she had answered the phone about 5 minutes before his second call. Liar, liar. I made up some crap about the lines being busy (which they were) and perhaps she'd lost track of which line he was on and in trying to determine which line was his got roped into helping other customers. 'Cuz usually there is more than one person who needs help around here and sometimes we do offer assistance. We're sorta nutty that way.

Anywho, I explain that I will need to put him on hold in order to check the books because I am not on a cordless phone and will need to walk to the opposite side of the store. He wants to know how long I'm going to take. 'Da hell? I suppose I could offer to sprint, but screw that. I tell him that it'll probably take about a minute and a half to get up there and find his two books. He gets all snitty with me and says "Well, are you sure? I don't want to have to be kept waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting..." He continues to repeat the phrase "and waiting" for about...I kid you not...90 FLIPPIN' SECONDS. I wanted to interrupt and say--Hey ass munch, if you'd shut your freakin' mouth I could've been up there already and you could go back to watchin' The Wheel. Instead, I hold my tounge and say--I promise I'll be right back.

So, I find his two books. The poor woman who'd helped him the first time had got caught at cashwrap, probably while trying to find his books. I get back on the phone and let him know they are both up here waiting for him. He then tells me to put a note on the book specifically stating he will be there tomorrow to buy them. We hold these freakin' things for 2 weeks then call you and give you another week so it's your own damn fault 99% of the time if they end up getting reshelved 'cuz you can't get your ass in here. He tells me to make sure and not write the note on the books because...

And here I interrupt and say "because the writing makes an imprint on the cover, yeah I know."

Wanker. So I write the note and keep my voice as pleasant as possible when saying goodbye. Of course, when I hit receiving I'm retelling my story to Jinn and questioning when it is this guy is going to finally join his minons in hell. Love my job.

WATCH IT:

click over to comingsoon.net and look for the trailer for Danny Boyle's new flick Sunshine...it's sick as the kids would say

HEAR IT:

Silversun Pickups--Lazy Eye Big thanks to Todd for pointing this group out to me. They sound like early Smashing Pumpkins if the Pumpkins were from L.A. The lead singer comes across a bit like the love child of Lindsey Buckingham and Liz Phair.