Dark Times Ahead

Children Of Men is not the movie to see if you are looking for something light on a Sat. afternoon. This movie stays with you long after you leave the theater. The basic premise is in the future (2027 actually) humans are no longer able to procreate. We aren't given an exact reason why, but just by looking at how ripped apart and littered the world has become, it's hard not to surmise that trashing ourselves and the environment probably had something to do with the condition people find themselves in. England is the last country standing, but the situation is so bleak that the leaders have created hard core immigration laws to keep Brits in and everyone else out. Throughout the movie you see cages at check points where people are being held in addition to advertisements recommending turning in anyone suspicious regardless of who they might be...neighbor, barber, doctor.

Clive Owen plays Theo whose day starts simply enough as he buys a coffee at the local cafe. Moments after he exits, the place explodes though the responsible party is never really confirmed. Later, he is abducted and taken to meet with his ex-wife who runs an activist organization. She needs his help getting a pregnant woman through secure check points and to the shore in order to meet with another group called The Human Project. I won't tell you anything else so as to not spoil the story.

I can tell you everyone is great in this movie. Clive Owen does a great job as a former activist turned everyman compelled to resort to his old ways by his own moral code. The movie is dark and I don't just mean the story line. Everything is gray and dirty (unless you're rich) and no one seems to really be living their life with any sort of joy. The one exception would be the character played by Michael Caine who lives with his wife in a hidden location in the country.

There are two main "action" sequences that are awe inspiring. I can't even begin to imagine just how long it took to plan and film these sequences. And yet, they move with such fluidity you never feel like they are somehow seperate from the rest of the film. Also, I have now seen the most realistic birthing scene ever. I am baffled at how this was accomplished, although I have some guesses.

Go see this movie. You may not feel that great afterwards, but just sit with it for awhile and you will fully appreciate what you have been able to see.

On a lighter note here are a couple of things to mention:

I realized I made a serious error when I left The Daily Show off my list of best of tv shows!!! I'm sure my membership in the Jon Stewart fan club will be revoked.

At realage.com you can take a quiz that helps you determine what your "real" age is based on what you eat, how much or little you exercise, etc. I took the quiz and surprisingly my real age ended up being my actual age. During the quiz, you are asked to determine your resting heart rate. I couldn't find my freakin' pulse!!! I tried both wrists and nothing. Apparently, I am a zombie. If I'm lucky, it was Cillian Murphy who bit me and made me said zombie. I ended up finding a pulse in my neck, but I was so annoyed I doubt if it was truely restful.

As always during the holidays and post holidays in retail, the extremely weird people seem to come out for their winter purchasing trek. No one has any idea what they are looking for and expect you to know exactly what an 8 yr. old boy wants for Christmas. Here are a couple of recent requests folks at work have heard:

"I need a book by Lewis Lame-er (phonetic spelling)." The guy actually wanted a book by Louis L'Amour (lewee la-more).

"I need a book on making babies." After attempting to direct the man to the sexuality section (although I'd recommend Judy Blume's Forever myself), it was discovered his wife actually sent him to the store to find a book on fertility.

"I'm looking for that love story that's $15 that was in the paper." Customer had no idea who the author was, what the title was, or when the book was mentioned in the paper.

And another customer complained that he didn't want to come to our store, but his mom made him (this guy was atleast 40). He likes our competitor because the girls are better looking there. He also told another employee, who is rather tall and stout, that the employee was a planet and all the other workers were moons revolving around him.

WATCH IT:
24 baby!!!! Jack Bauer is back this Sun. and Mon. in four hours that will thankfully begin with him somewhat naked getting rid of that skanky ass hair he's grown over the last two years while being held in a Chinese prison.

HEAR IT:
"Bitch" The Stones. Makes me want to strut and pout like Mick.

READ IT:
Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr: Affirmations For Cynics--Ann Thornhill and Sarah Wells.
While putting books on the bookcase I got for Christmas (thanks Mom!), I re-discovered this book. Here's a sample affirmation: "While in coversations today, I will practice keeping a mental inventory of other people's stupidity." Warning, this book can get really harsh so it's best taken in small doses.

Finally, another fabulous person is leaving the store. Laura, one of our department managers is going off to a better job. Her leaving creates a void of both sanity and wit that will be sorely missed. My own fragile grip on the reality that is our manager meetings will be cut at last leaving me to float about like that last Cheerio in the bowl you can never quite catch with your spoon without spilling milk on your jammies. She will hopefully continue to read the blog and email me...dammit.

Till next time...